For years, parents have warned their children with the phrase “Don’t talk to strangers.” While the intention was good, modern child safety experts agree that the concept of “stranger danger” is outdated and incomplete.
The truth is, most unsafe situations involving children don’t come from strangers—they often involve people the child already knows. This is where the idea of “tricky people” becomes a much more effective approach to keeping kids safe.
Why “Stranger Danger” Doesn’t Work
- Most strangers are not harmful. Think of a shopkeeper, a teacher, or a kind passerby—sometimes children may need to turn to strangers for help.
- Children can be confused. Not all strangers “look scary.” A friendly smile, a gift, or a familiar face can break down a child’s guard.
- Real risks come from familiarity. Sadly, research shows that children are more likely to face danger from someone they know, not a stranger.
What Are “Tricky People”?
A tricky person isn’t defined by whether they’re a stranger or not—it’s about their behavior.
- A tricky person might be a neighbor, family friend, relative, or even another child.
- They ask kids to break rules, keep secrets, or do things that make them feel uncomfortable.
- They may try to isolate children, bribe them with gifts, or pressure them into silence.
By teaching kids to notice behavior rather than labels, we give them stronger, real-world tools to protect themselves.
How to Teach Kids About “Tricky People”
1. Talk About Safe vs. Unsafe Behaviors
Instead of saying “Don’t talk to strangers,” teach:
- A safe adult never asks a child for help (e.g., to find a lost pet).
- A safe adult doesn’t ask a child to keep secrets from their parents.
- A safe adult respects boundaries and doesn’t touch them in ways that feel wrong.
2. Empower, Don’t Scare
Children need confidence, not fear. Use calm, clear examples:
- “If someone asks you to keep a secret from me, that’s a tricky person.”
- “If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, you can always say NO—even to an adult.”
3. Teach the “No, Go, Tell” Rule
- NO – Say no firmly.
- GO – Move away from the situation.
- TELL – Talk to a trusted adult immediately.
4. Identify Trusted Adults
Help your child create a list of safe adults they can go to—both at home and outside (teachers, relatives, police officers, etc.).
5. Role Play Situations
Practice scenarios in a fun way:
- What if someone offers you candy to go with them?
- What if a neighbor asks you to keep a secret?
- What if someone online asks for your personal information?
This makes kids more prepared without feeling fearful.
Final Thoughts
Instead of raising fearful children, let’s raise aware and confident children. “Stranger danger” may have been the old rule, but the idea of “tricky people” gives kids realistic, practical tools to recognize unsafe behavior—no matter who it comes from.
At Zuvoy, we believe learning safety should also be empowering, not scary. Through our board games and activities like Kindness Count and Gratitude Quest, we help children build confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence—the same qualities that protect them in tricky situations.