Tantrums are a universal part of childhood. From a toddler screaming in the grocery store to a preschooler refusing bedtime, every parent experiences these overwhelming moments. While tantrums may feel chaotic, they are actually a normal stage of child development. Children throw tantrums because they are learning to navigate big emotions, but they often lack the tools to express themselves in healthy ways.
Instead of responding with punishment, positive parenting offers a different approach—one that blends empathy, patience, and guidance. By using these techniques, parents can not only calm tantrums but also teach children important skills like emotional regulation, problem-solving, and resilience.
Why Positive Parenting Works for Tantrums
Traditional discipline often relies on scolding, time-outs, or punishment. While these may stop the behavior temporarily, they rarely teach children why they feel upset or how to manage it differently next time.
Positive parenting, on the other hand, focuses on:
- Understanding the root cause of the tantrum.
- Responding calmly and respectfully.
- Teaching long-term emotional skills instead of enforcing fear-based compliance.
This approach transforms tantrums from stressful outbursts into learning opportunities.
Practical Strategies to Handle Tantrums with Positive Parenting
1. Stay Calm Yourself
Children look to parents as emotional role models. If you shout or lose control, they will likely escalate too. Instead, take a deep breath, lower your tone, and show composure. Calmness communicates safety and reassurance.
👉 Example: Instead of yelling, “Stop crying right now!” try, “I see you’re upset. Let’s sit together until you feel better.”
2. Acknowledge and Validate Feelings
A tantrum often comes from frustration at not being understood. When parents acknowledge emotions, children feel seen and heard.
👉 Example: “I understand you’re angry because you wanted to play more. It’s okay to feel upset.”
Validation doesn’t mean giving in—it simply means recognizing the child’s feelings as real and important.
3. Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries
Positive parenting balances empathy with structure. Boundaries provide security for children.
👉 Example: “I know you want more TV time, but we agreed on 20 minutes. We can read your favorite story now.”
Children thrive on routines and limits. When parents stay consistent, kids learn self-discipline.
4. Teach Emotional Regulation
Once the tantrum has passed, use it as a teaching moment. Children don’t automatically know how to calm down; they need guidance.
Simple techniques include:
- Deep breathing exercises (blowing bubbles works well).
- Using a “calm corner” with pillows or sensory toys.
- Drawing or storytelling to express emotions.
Over time, children learn to replace tantrums with healthier coping strategies.
5. Redirect with Positive Choices
When children feel powerless, they may act out. Offering simple choices helps them regain control in a healthy way.
👉 Example: “You can play with your blocks or do a puzzle. Which one would you like?”
This method reduces power struggles and encourages independence.
6. Reinforce Positive Behavior
Celebrate progress, no matter how small. Praise your child when they calm down, use words instead of yelling, or express feelings respectfully.
👉 Example: “I’m proud of how you took deep breaths instead of screaming.”
Positive reinforcement motivates children to repeat good behaviors.
Using Games to Teach Emotional Skills
One powerful way to support positive parenting is through screen-free, educational games. For example, Zuvoy’s Kindness Counts helps children learn empathy, patience, and teamwork in a playful way.
- As kids face different “kindness challenges” in the game, they practice handling situations calmly.
- Collecting kindness tokens reinforces positive choices.
- Blooming the Kindness Tree teaches cooperation and delayed gratification—important skills for reducing tantrums.
Games like this turn learning into fun, helping kids absorb life lessons without lectures.